kung hanggang tula lang ako
richard r. gappi
Puting lapida itong pintong papel.
Tuwing dadalaw ka, nagkakapangalan
ang pangungulila, nahahawi
ang mga agiw na napagkit sa mga ukit.
Tila umiingit na bisagra ang mga salita
kapag pinatutuloy ang mga ito;
sumisilip naman ang matalas na sinag,
tila balaraw na nilalaslas ang dilim
na nakalupasay sa sahig.
Minsan, nagmumulto ang puntod.
Pinangangatog ang tuhod.
Ngunit muli akong ipapanatag
ng katotohanang nakapinid na
ang ngiti ng lugod,
nakahimlay na ang damdaming
nagpatibok sa puson.
Sa ganitong tagpo, lalong
lumalawak ang giwang ng pinto.
Sapagkat sa bawat katok ng mga salita
nauulinigan ko ang iyong
mga impit na halinghing at bulong;
sa bawat tulos ko ng taludtod,
pumapatak sa diwa ang malalapot na gunita;
at kapag naitundos ko ang imahen,
nakukuyom ko kahit
ang balangkas ng iyong anino.
Kaya unawain ako
kung ito lang ang kayang gawin.
Sapagkat tula lang ang naaangkin.
At dito ka lang nagiging akin.
11:54 ng gabi
ika-25 ng oktubre, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
English Movies You Should Not Translate in Filipino/Tagalog
Nabasa ko ito sa isang forwarded email ni Roland Tolentino:
Black Hawk Down: Ibong Maitim sa Ibaba
Dead Man's Chest: Dodo ng Taong Patay
I Know What You Did Last Summer: Uyyy...Aminin!
Love, Actually: Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-ibig
Million Dollar Baby: 50 Milyong Pisong Sanggol (depende sa exchange rate)
The Blair Witch Project: Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair
Mary Poppins: Si Mariang May Putok
Snakes on a Plane: Nag-ahasan sa Ere
The Postman Always Rings Twice: Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging Dalawang Beses
Sum of All Fears: Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat
Swordfish: Talakitok
Pretty Woman: Ganda ng Lola Mo
Robin Hood, Men in Tights: Si Robin Hood at ang Mga Felix Bakat
Four Weddings and a Funeral: Kahit Apat na Beses Ka Pang Magpakasal, Mamamatay Ka Rin!
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Adik si Harry, Tumira ng Shabu
Click: Isang Pindot Ka Lang
Brokeback Mountain: May Nawasak sa Likod ng Bundok ng Tralala; Bumigay sa Bundok
The Day of the Dead: Undas
Waterworld: Pista ng San Juan
There's Something About Mary: May Kuwan sa Ano ni Maria
Employee of the Month: Ang Sipsip
Resident Evil: Ang Biyenan
Kill Bill: Kilitiin sa Bilbil
The Grudge: Lintik Lang ang Walang Ganti
Nightmare Before Christmas: Binangungot sa Noche Buena
Never Been Kissed: Pangit Kasi
Gone in 60 Seconds: 1 Round Lang, Tulog
The Fast and the Furious: Ang Bitin, Galit
Too Fast, Too Furious: Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit
Dude, Where's My Car?: Dong, Anong Level Ulit Tayo Nag-park?
Beauty and the Beast: Ang Asawa Ko at ang Nanay Niya
The Lord of the Rings: Ang Alahero
Die Hard: Hindi Mamatay-matay
Die Hard, with a Vengeance: Hindi na Mamatay-matay, Naghiganti Pa
Lost in Space: Mga Taong Naligaw sa Kalawakan
Paycheck: Sweldo
What Lies Beneath: Ang Pagsisinungaling sa Ilalim
Superman, the Return: Si Superman Bumalik, Naiwanan ang Brief
Cinderella Man: Bading si Cinderella
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Nagtrabaho si Charlie sa Goya
Blade Runner: Magnanakaw ng Labaha
Schindler's List: May Mga Utang kay Schindler
Men in Black: Mga Lalaking Namatayan
X-Men, the Last Stand: Mga Dating Lalaki, Huling Tinayuan
Wedding Crashers: Mga Bwiset sa Kasal
The Day After Tomorrow: Sa Makalawa
Three Men and a Baby: Ang Tatlong Yayo
Catch Me If You Can: Habulin Mo 'ko!
A Bug's Life: Ang Buhay ng Isang Surot
Die Another Day: Mamatay Ka Ulit Bukas
The Rock: Ang Shabu
Jaws: Panga
Back to the Future: Sa Likod ng Hinaharap
In the Line of Fire: Tumulay Ka sa Alambreng May Apoy
Saturday Night Fever: Sabado ng Gabi, May Trangkaso
Stepmom: Tapakan Si Inang
Brother Bear: Kuya Oso
Police Academy: Paaralan ng mga Buwaya
The English Patient: Ang Pasyenteng Inglesera
Man on Fire: Ang Nasusunog na Mama
The Horse Whisperer: Ang Tsismoso ng mga Kabayo
Dante's Peak: Ang Bumbunan ni Dante
Legends of the Fall: Ang Kasaysayan ng mga Lampa
The Forgotten: Ewan
2:52 ng hapon
Miyerkules, 24 ng setyembre 2008
Black Hawk Down: Ibong Maitim sa Ibaba
Dead Man's Chest: Dodo ng Taong Patay
I Know What You Did Last Summer: Uyyy...Aminin!
Love, Actually: Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-ibig
Million Dollar Baby: 50 Milyong Pisong Sanggol (depende sa exchange rate)
The Blair Witch Project: Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair
Mary Poppins: Si Mariang May Putok
Snakes on a Plane: Nag-ahasan sa Ere
The Postman Always Rings Twice: Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging Dalawang Beses
Sum of All Fears: Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat
Swordfish: Talakitok
Pretty Woman: Ganda ng Lola Mo
Robin Hood, Men in Tights: Si Robin Hood at ang Mga Felix Bakat
Four Weddings and a Funeral: Kahit Apat na Beses Ka Pang Magpakasal, Mamamatay Ka Rin!
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Adik si Harry, Tumira ng Shabu
Click: Isang Pindot Ka Lang
Brokeback Mountain: May Nawasak sa Likod ng Bundok ng Tralala; Bumigay sa Bundok
The Day of the Dead: Undas
Waterworld: Pista ng San Juan
There's Something About Mary: May Kuwan sa Ano ni Maria
Employee of the Month: Ang Sipsip
Resident Evil: Ang Biyenan
Kill Bill: Kilitiin sa Bilbil
The Grudge: Lintik Lang ang Walang Ganti
Nightmare Before Christmas: Binangungot sa Noche Buena
Never Been Kissed: Pangit Kasi
Gone in 60 Seconds: 1 Round Lang, Tulog
The Fast and the Furious: Ang Bitin, Galit
Too Fast, Too Furious: Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit
Dude, Where's My Car?: Dong, Anong Level Ulit Tayo Nag-park?
Beauty and the Beast: Ang Asawa Ko at ang Nanay Niya
The Lord of the Rings: Ang Alahero
Die Hard: Hindi Mamatay-matay
Die Hard, with a Vengeance: Hindi na Mamatay-matay, Naghiganti Pa
Lost in Space: Mga Taong Naligaw sa Kalawakan
Paycheck: Sweldo
What Lies Beneath: Ang Pagsisinungaling sa Ilalim
Superman, the Return: Si Superman Bumalik, Naiwanan ang Brief
Cinderella Man: Bading si Cinderella
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Nagtrabaho si Charlie sa Goya
Blade Runner: Magnanakaw ng Labaha
Schindler's List: May Mga Utang kay Schindler
Men in Black: Mga Lalaking Namatayan
X-Men, the Last Stand: Mga Dating Lalaki, Huling Tinayuan
Wedding Crashers: Mga Bwiset sa Kasal
The Day After Tomorrow: Sa Makalawa
Three Men and a Baby: Ang Tatlong Yayo
Catch Me If You Can: Habulin Mo 'ko!
A Bug's Life: Ang Buhay ng Isang Surot
Die Another Day: Mamatay Ka Ulit Bukas
The Rock: Ang Shabu
Jaws: Panga
Back to the Future: Sa Likod ng Hinaharap
In the Line of Fire: Tumulay Ka sa Alambreng May Apoy
Saturday Night Fever: Sabado ng Gabi, May Trangkaso
Stepmom: Tapakan Si Inang
Brother Bear: Kuya Oso
Police Academy: Paaralan ng mga Buwaya
The English Patient: Ang Pasyenteng Inglesera
Man on Fire: Ang Nasusunog na Mama
The Horse Whisperer: Ang Tsismoso ng mga Kabayo
Dante's Peak: Ang Bumbunan ni Dante
Legends of the Fall: Ang Kasaysayan ng mga Lampa
The Forgotten: Ewan
2:52 ng hapon
Miyerkules, 24 ng setyembre 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Wall Street, Bolivia, atbp.
23 september 2008
Slept for twelve hours today. Have been sleeping for four hours at the most Mondays and Thursdays since the start of the sem owing to a 7 am class on those days. Thing is that I read and write at night and that having early morning works doesn’t work for me. I can’t do so in the afternoon after my classes so I just devote the time to other office/paper works.
***
It’s been a week since the financial crisis’ peak at New York City. Because the financial and economic system is now more interlocked than ever before, what happens there (or anywhere) has global ramifications. It sent panic not only to the businessmen here but also ordinary people who work or are connected to banks and financial institutions. Poor people who have some savings are now anxious about what will happen next.
The US government’s bailout of AIG helped to calm the atmosphere; though we don’t know the extent of stability it would continue to offer. Now the news is that Bush will release 700 billion US$ to revive their ailing economy. Free market advocates do not like the long-term implications of this move. I just watched at CNN a US legislator’s comment that nationalization of the economy is inherently un-American. Others will say that it is anti-American (i.e., anti-capitalist, anti-profit, anti-freedom?) Many argue that only the government can do something that will reassure market forces and will pave way for the latter’s continued growth. I think that in the same way that the government de facto manages the economy by providing all the advantages for capitalist expansion, a free market in fact accorded by the government’s “non-intervention,” it can—and must—regulate private corporations and organize the economy in a manner that will protect the public. This suggestion concerns a capitalist edict to which our own Philippine economy subscribes to. The wicked thing about this bailout is that it may just help the companies and its workers and the people who have some interests in it as depositors, creditors, etc. while those responsible for its failures will be let off the hook. Government aid must be accompanied by a thorough investigation of those speculators and managers who led us to this mess to begin with, and a restructuring of a system that encourages private accumulation over a generalized condition of beneficence and equality. I’m sorry that I am neither an economist nor a political scientist so this is just a basic proposal.
***
Quite the same government-people vs private greed relation is happening in America’s destitute backyard. Bolivia’s poor is demanding an equal share of income from their more affluent compatriots. The same news program I just watched shows the nation’s elite in an expo show partying while the wretched of the earth are protesting for a socialization of earnings from their country’s wealthy region. We hear their comprador bourgeoisie class appealing for national unity (this same sector is fighting for a secession from their leftist government), the poor articulating the same unity achievable through a redistribution of government income. Evo Morales’ challenge for a richer and more just Bolivia is pushing towards a violent confrontation. When governments such as his lead social revolution—meaning it comes from above—the outcome will be decided by the people themselves who must realize a government working for their needs and desires. Despite countless efforts to topple its leaders both from outside and from within, Cuba’s government stays because the people are not alienated from its ruling. States are after all the arena where one class imposes its rule over all the rest. We might see a renewed reddening of Latin America.
***
Have to study hard in my Spanish lessons. I was passing through it easily in the lower levels. Now that the verb tenses and predications are becoming more difficult, I mix up the verb usages. Unlike my classmates who can converse adequately in Español, each time my teacher asks me, people have to supply the answers so that I can cope with the discussion. My goal’s to have a reading knowledge of the subject so I can pursue my interest in Hispanic literature and history. But it is easier to learn the language by listening well to conversations. More Spanish TV programs, films and music then.
***
One student asked my position on the reproductive health bill. I didn’t say my stand because the paper I require in my Communication 1 class is not yet submitted. I explained to the class that I, like many teachers, do not grade student work based on our own take on the matter but on their own discussion of the subject. This is of course at the level of theory but we can ensure fairness by examining well the sides (not only two) to an issue and criticizing the opposition to each side based on a common subject. You cannot simply raise morality and spirituality against economics and lifestyle without presenting where the two presumably opposing sides meet and contend. By the way El Shaddai’s Bro. Mike Velarde is threatening to run in the 2010 presidential elections in case the bill is approved. At least the Iglesia ni Cristo is approving of the bill’s merits.
***
The activist institution to which I belong, the Amado V. Hernandez Resource Center, conducted a poetry workshop with the Advan (makers of casual shoes) company’s workers last September 13. They are currently on strike to fight for wage increase and prosecution of sexual harassment against the manager. We in the center decided that workshops be held in urban poor worker’s communities so that Amado Hernandez’s poetry and militant labor struggle will be sustained. In the past almost all of the participants in literary workshops and not surprisingly the winners in the Gawad Ka Amado are students and professionals, those who have considerable resources, specially time, for literary activities. Poet Richard Gappi led the workshop and the outcome was good. The workers themselves presented their poem through a dramatic presentation on the night itself. The most humorous part was the practice for the presentation as participants realize the seriousness of their efforts and had become the center of attention that night. Surely the reality of just writing the poem and then transforming into dramatic actions so that what you have just written is transmitted audio-visually to a wide audience made them feel profoundly different. People realize that collective action is greatly achieved by means of artistic work that pulls the senses and the mind. Poet Axel Pinpin of the recently released from prison Tagaytay 5 read his poem.
8:06 am
tuesday, 23 september 2008
Slept for twelve hours today. Have been sleeping for four hours at the most Mondays and Thursdays since the start of the sem owing to a 7 am class on those days. Thing is that I read and write at night and that having early morning works doesn’t work for me. I can’t do so in the afternoon after my classes so I just devote the time to other office/paper works.
***
It’s been a week since the financial crisis’ peak at New York City. Because the financial and economic system is now more interlocked than ever before, what happens there (or anywhere) has global ramifications. It sent panic not only to the businessmen here but also ordinary people who work or are connected to banks and financial institutions. Poor people who have some savings are now anxious about what will happen next.
The US government’s bailout of AIG helped to calm the atmosphere; though we don’t know the extent of stability it would continue to offer. Now the news is that Bush will release 700 billion US$ to revive their ailing economy. Free market advocates do not like the long-term implications of this move. I just watched at CNN a US legislator’s comment that nationalization of the economy is inherently un-American. Others will say that it is anti-American (i.e., anti-capitalist, anti-profit, anti-freedom?) Many argue that only the government can do something that will reassure market forces and will pave way for the latter’s continued growth. I think that in the same way that the government de facto manages the economy by providing all the advantages for capitalist expansion, a free market in fact accorded by the government’s “non-intervention,” it can—and must—regulate private corporations and organize the economy in a manner that will protect the public. This suggestion concerns a capitalist edict to which our own Philippine economy subscribes to. The wicked thing about this bailout is that it may just help the companies and its workers and the people who have some interests in it as depositors, creditors, etc. while those responsible for its failures will be let off the hook. Government aid must be accompanied by a thorough investigation of those speculators and managers who led us to this mess to begin with, and a restructuring of a system that encourages private accumulation over a generalized condition of beneficence and equality. I’m sorry that I am neither an economist nor a political scientist so this is just a basic proposal.
***
Quite the same government-people vs private greed relation is happening in America’s destitute backyard. Bolivia’s poor is demanding an equal share of income from their more affluent compatriots. The same news program I just watched shows the nation’s elite in an expo show partying while the wretched of the earth are protesting for a socialization of earnings from their country’s wealthy region. We hear their comprador bourgeoisie class appealing for national unity (this same sector is fighting for a secession from their leftist government), the poor articulating the same unity achievable through a redistribution of government income. Evo Morales’ challenge for a richer and more just Bolivia is pushing towards a violent confrontation. When governments such as his lead social revolution—meaning it comes from above—the outcome will be decided by the people themselves who must realize a government working for their needs and desires. Despite countless efforts to topple its leaders both from outside and from within, Cuba’s government stays because the people are not alienated from its ruling. States are after all the arena where one class imposes its rule over all the rest. We might see a renewed reddening of Latin America.
***
Have to study hard in my Spanish lessons. I was passing through it easily in the lower levels. Now that the verb tenses and predications are becoming more difficult, I mix up the verb usages. Unlike my classmates who can converse adequately in Español, each time my teacher asks me, people have to supply the answers so that I can cope with the discussion. My goal’s to have a reading knowledge of the subject so I can pursue my interest in Hispanic literature and history. But it is easier to learn the language by listening well to conversations. More Spanish TV programs, films and music then.
***
One student asked my position on the reproductive health bill. I didn’t say my stand because the paper I require in my Communication 1 class is not yet submitted. I explained to the class that I, like many teachers, do not grade student work based on our own take on the matter but on their own discussion of the subject. This is of course at the level of theory but we can ensure fairness by examining well the sides (not only two) to an issue and criticizing the opposition to each side based on a common subject. You cannot simply raise morality and spirituality against economics and lifestyle without presenting where the two presumably opposing sides meet and contend. By the way El Shaddai’s Bro. Mike Velarde is threatening to run in the 2010 presidential elections in case the bill is approved. At least the Iglesia ni Cristo is approving of the bill’s merits.
***
The activist institution to which I belong, the Amado V. Hernandez Resource Center, conducted a poetry workshop with the Advan (makers of casual shoes) company’s workers last September 13. They are currently on strike to fight for wage increase and prosecution of sexual harassment against the manager. We in the center decided that workshops be held in urban poor worker’s communities so that Amado Hernandez’s poetry and militant labor struggle will be sustained. In the past almost all of the participants in literary workshops and not surprisingly the winners in the Gawad Ka Amado are students and professionals, those who have considerable resources, specially time, for literary activities. Poet Richard Gappi led the workshop and the outcome was good. The workers themselves presented their poem through a dramatic presentation on the night itself. The most humorous part was the practice for the presentation as participants realize the seriousness of their efforts and had become the center of attention that night. Surely the reality of just writing the poem and then transforming into dramatic actions so that what you have just written is transmitted audio-visually to a wide audience made them feel profoundly different. People realize that collective action is greatly achieved by means of artistic work that pulls the senses and the mind. Poet Axel Pinpin of the recently released from prison Tagaytay 5 read his poem.
8:06 am
tuesday, 23 september 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
merry christmas!
merry christmas! maaga ang pasko sa pinas. nang sandaling manood ako kanina ng early morning shows christmas na agad ang tema nila, na agad mapapansin sa mga dekorasyon at awitin. nang kumain naman ako sa goldilocks ng sm city manila (masarap ang laing nila) eh christmas songs na rin ang pinapatugtog. pagsapit ng setyembre, sa pagsisimula ng –ber months, tinitimbrehan tayo na kailangan nang magsaya – sa pamamagitan ng paggasta; o, sa pagsasara ng taon, sa pag-aasam na matatapos na rin ang pagtawid natin sa alambre ng pakikibakang mabuhay, ay hinihikayat tayong panahon na para magpiyesta. ang kapanganakan ni hesus ay pagsisimula ng ating kaligtasan pero halos lahat tayo ay umiiwas sa pasanin ng hindi mabilang na gastusin na pinakamatindi kapag ganitong okasyon.
naalala ko lang na nitong sabado eh pumunta ako sa bahay ng isang kaibigan, isang kaklase noong grade school days. madalas kaming magkita-kita pero mga isang buwan na ring lingo-linggo kaming nasa kanila upang makatipid. magdadala lang ng pagkain at film marathon na. hiniling akong maging ninong ng pamangkin niya at bahagi nitong ‘kulturang pinoy’ na hindi natin matakasan eh ang hindi pagtanggi sa ganyang mga imbitasyon. naging malapit na rin naman kaming magkakaibigan sa pamilya nila, at itong babaeng kaibigan ko’y one of the boys na noon pa. paano ba ito? dumarami na ang inaanak ko? hirap na nga akong madalaw sila, makamusta at makapagbigay man lamang ng kaunti eh paano pa kaya ang esensiya ng pagiging pangalawang magulang sa mga inaanak?!
***
sa gitna ng pagsisimula ng kasiyahang obligasyon tuwing pasko eh pumanaw na si mang pandoy. ang juan de la cruz noong dekada nobenta na kinasangkapan sa pagtakbo sa halalang pampangulo namatay na naghihirap pa rin, wala ni isa man sa kanyang mga anak ang nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral. tingin ko naman aalwan ang pamumuhay ni mang pandoy kung tuwiran siyang inempleyo ng mga ganid nating pulitiko, trophy kumbaga (karpintero, alalay, alipin, goon? bagman? fixer?); ‘yon nga lang ang kalakaran eh sikaping ipakitang uunlad si mang pandoy sa normal na kayod upang mabuhay – pantasyang pinauunlad ang pinas. umiinog nang parang hilo ang mundo, ibinabalik tayo sa nakaraan, at parang nauulit ang lahat. malala pa sa dati. hindi siguro koinsidental ang naputol na reunion concert ng eheads, kontemporaryo sa kasikatan ni mang pandoy (beatles ng pinas!) at wala na sigurong hihigit pa sa pagpapahiwatig ng nararamdaman ng kabataang nasa lunduyan ng pag-ibig, angas, hinanakit, hindi lubusang pagkamakasarili, pighati at pag-asa na bubuti din ang lahat. masyado kasing napagod si ely, inunawa nang marami ang pagkamatay ng ina pero walang simpatiya sa kung siya lang ang tutuusin, durugista kasi! pero umaasam tayong magkakaroon muli ng concert at sana’y sa susunod na issue eh ligaya na! ito (dapat) ay para sa mga masa...
***
may masama ding balita ngayong gabi lang: tumaas ang suweldo ni gma! ito ang kukumpleto sa lahat! eh ni wala pa nga ang 10% salary increase kaming peyups employees dahil pinagtatalunan pa kung sa pagpasa ng bagong charter noong mayo ay makakasama kami sa pay hike ng government employees na nagsimula nitong hulyo. (siyangapala, nagiging pribado na ang UP) kahit napakarami namin at iisa lang siya, hindi pa rin makatarungan ito. taliwas sa rason na pag-agapay din sa mataas na bilihin ang pagtaas ng suweldo ng mga opisyales ng gobyerno, at sa pangangatwiran pang mapipigilan ng mataas-taas na sahod ang korupsyon, mali ang pagtanggi ng makatwirang sahod para sa gumagawa habang pinapataba naman yaong mga nangangapital na sa puwesto sa gobyerno. sa pantay na pagtaas nga lang ng sahod eh tagibang na agad sa mahirap ang sistema dahil sa porsiyentuhang pagtaas eh higit na lumalaki ang mga sahod ng malaki na ang kita, paano pa kaya kung makaisang-panig lang ang wage increase.
11:08 ng gabi
lunes, 1 setyembre 2008
naalala ko lang na nitong sabado eh pumunta ako sa bahay ng isang kaibigan, isang kaklase noong grade school days. madalas kaming magkita-kita pero mga isang buwan na ring lingo-linggo kaming nasa kanila upang makatipid. magdadala lang ng pagkain at film marathon na. hiniling akong maging ninong ng pamangkin niya at bahagi nitong ‘kulturang pinoy’ na hindi natin matakasan eh ang hindi pagtanggi sa ganyang mga imbitasyon. naging malapit na rin naman kaming magkakaibigan sa pamilya nila, at itong babaeng kaibigan ko’y one of the boys na noon pa. paano ba ito? dumarami na ang inaanak ko? hirap na nga akong madalaw sila, makamusta at makapagbigay man lamang ng kaunti eh paano pa kaya ang esensiya ng pagiging pangalawang magulang sa mga inaanak?!
***
sa gitna ng pagsisimula ng kasiyahang obligasyon tuwing pasko eh pumanaw na si mang pandoy. ang juan de la cruz noong dekada nobenta na kinasangkapan sa pagtakbo sa halalang pampangulo namatay na naghihirap pa rin, wala ni isa man sa kanyang mga anak ang nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral. tingin ko naman aalwan ang pamumuhay ni mang pandoy kung tuwiran siyang inempleyo ng mga ganid nating pulitiko, trophy kumbaga (karpintero, alalay, alipin, goon? bagman? fixer?); ‘yon nga lang ang kalakaran eh sikaping ipakitang uunlad si mang pandoy sa normal na kayod upang mabuhay – pantasyang pinauunlad ang pinas. umiinog nang parang hilo ang mundo, ibinabalik tayo sa nakaraan, at parang nauulit ang lahat. malala pa sa dati. hindi siguro koinsidental ang naputol na reunion concert ng eheads, kontemporaryo sa kasikatan ni mang pandoy (beatles ng pinas!) at wala na sigurong hihigit pa sa pagpapahiwatig ng nararamdaman ng kabataang nasa lunduyan ng pag-ibig, angas, hinanakit, hindi lubusang pagkamakasarili, pighati at pag-asa na bubuti din ang lahat. masyado kasing napagod si ely, inunawa nang marami ang pagkamatay ng ina pero walang simpatiya sa kung siya lang ang tutuusin, durugista kasi! pero umaasam tayong magkakaroon muli ng concert at sana’y sa susunod na issue eh ligaya na! ito (dapat) ay para sa mga masa...
***
may masama ding balita ngayong gabi lang: tumaas ang suweldo ni gma! ito ang kukumpleto sa lahat! eh ni wala pa nga ang 10% salary increase kaming peyups employees dahil pinagtatalunan pa kung sa pagpasa ng bagong charter noong mayo ay makakasama kami sa pay hike ng government employees na nagsimula nitong hulyo. (siyangapala, nagiging pribado na ang UP) kahit napakarami namin at iisa lang siya, hindi pa rin makatarungan ito. taliwas sa rason na pag-agapay din sa mataas na bilihin ang pagtaas ng suweldo ng mga opisyales ng gobyerno, at sa pangangatwiran pang mapipigilan ng mataas-taas na sahod ang korupsyon, mali ang pagtanggi ng makatwirang sahod para sa gumagawa habang pinapataba naman yaong mga nangangapital na sa puwesto sa gobyerno. sa pantay na pagtaas nga lang ng sahod eh tagibang na agad sa mahirap ang sistema dahil sa porsiyentuhang pagtaas eh higit na lumalaki ang mga sahod ng malaki na ang kita, paano pa kaya kung makaisang-panig lang ang wage increase.
11:08 ng gabi
lunes, 1 setyembre 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Loss
Loss
by Ko Un
There's a trail uphill that leads somewhere.
After reading just a few lines written in an old dead tongue.
I have to head for that hill
wearing canvass shoes made from a grey satchel.
Somewhere a lost object is in a hurry to be found.
There's a trail uphill that leads somewhere.
The text on the next page of a book is waiting
and someone is listening there, having brought a dead tongue to life.
With the crunch of dead leaves underfoot
and the sunlight lingering on my worn clothes,
I sense that my heart is growing several times wider.
That object must be somewhere inside.
An unfamiliar grasshopper jumps, startled by a sneeze
provoked by the spicy odour of dry grass or fodder.
The first day is colder than the thirty-first,
yet the lost object is still nowhere around.
There's a trail uphill that leads somewhere.
At home, some elder's first death anniversary awaits.
Behind me someone is pestering my heart,
saying: there, there, or there,
but to me it's full of reconciliation; there's nothing there.
Ultimately, I suppose, that lost object will likewise be named in a dead tongue.
- Copied from Brick, a literay journal, number 78, winter 2006, page 29
10:35 pm
sunday, 31 august 2008
by Ko Un
There's a trail uphill that leads somewhere.
After reading just a few lines written in an old dead tongue.
I have to head for that hill
wearing canvass shoes made from a grey satchel.
Somewhere a lost object is in a hurry to be found.
There's a trail uphill that leads somewhere.
The text on the next page of a book is waiting
and someone is listening there, having brought a dead tongue to life.
With the crunch of dead leaves underfoot
and the sunlight lingering on my worn clothes,
I sense that my heart is growing several times wider.
That object must be somewhere inside.
An unfamiliar grasshopper jumps, startled by a sneeze
provoked by the spicy odour of dry grass or fodder.
The first day is colder than the thirty-first,
yet the lost object is still nowhere around.
There's a trail uphill that leads somewhere.
At home, some elder's first death anniversary awaits.
Behind me someone is pestering my heart,
saying: there, there, or there,
but to me it's full of reconciliation; there's nothing there.
Ultimately, I suppose, that lost object will likewise be named in a dead tongue.
- Copied from Brick, a literay journal, number 78, winter 2006, page 29
10:35 pm
sunday, 31 august 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Naglalakad ako kaninang tanghali mula Kalaw patungong Quiapo sa may gilid ng SM City Manila at nakitang nagkukumpulan ang mga empleyado at/o aplikante. Tanyag na mall na itinatambad ang kanilang mga magagandang produkto’t salespersons ngunit heto’t wari’y mga langaw sa gilid ng daan. Tensiyonado sila’t umaasam ng trabahong magbibigay ng kakarampot na sahod mula sa dambuhalang kumpanyang kumikita ng bilyon-bilyon kada taon. Kapag bumibiyahe mapapansin ang sandamukal na mga patalastas na humihimok na magkonsumo, pakiwari bang kaya nating gumasta at kalakhan ng mamamaya’y (lalo na sa kalunsuran) mga propesyonal at may mga espesyal na pangangailangan. Ngunit higit na marami ang mga manggagawa at mala-manggagawa dito sa lunsod. Itinatago, tinatakpan, isinasantabi at ikinahihiya nga lamang sila. Kapag nasa MRT mga papuntang opisina na nangangailangan ng kakayahang dulot ng pormal na pag-aaral ang makakasalamuha. Marami ay mga estudyante. O kaya ay mallers. Pero nasaan ang mga manggagawa? Sila yaong mga nagbu-bus: na hindi aircon. Sa pagkain naman sa mga fastfood o may kamahalang mga restaurant napapansin ba sila? Ibig kong sabihi’y naiisip pa ba ng mga kumakain na ang service crew ay obrero din, kumikita ng minimum wage at hindi sapat kahit dalawa o tatlo pa kayo sa pamilyang ganito? Sa Makati at iba pang may mga high-rise sila ay nasa mga sulok, basement, ilalim, madidilim at masisikip na lugar: doon sila kumakain dahil nandoon ang mga murang karinderya de-tulak na tindahang nabigyan ng special permit o di kaya’y tinatarget na hulihin at kotongan. Ngayong marami ang construction projects ng malls at condominium, pati na exclusive subdivisions at leisure areas ay pulu-pulutong na pumapasok, kumakain, natutulog sa semento, nagyoyosi at umuuwi ang mga construction workers na palaging pinagdidiskitahang pagkakitaan ang kanilang mga kita. Naiisip ko lang ito, sa araw-araw na paglalakbay, maya’t mayang pagmumuni.
***
It’s been three weeks since the start of classes and I still have to fully adjust to a heavy teaching load this sem. Well, I only have two preparations now; but four of the five classes I’m currently handling is Communication One. Which means that their writing skills developed from word-building unto the discourse of the essay depend on me: in the first semester of their first year in the university celebrating its first one hundred years (because it looks forward to hundreds of years more. Hundreds of years of what?!)
I asked my students to write a thousand-word essay on any topic. Top theme is the adjustment from high school to college life. Their ‘new’ life is more of a fine-tuning from being the best and the brightest of months before to mingling with the best and the brightest of their generation. That this is the underlying thesis of the oft-described difficult college life gives the impression that they have internalized UP’s ang galing mo! motto. Magaling saan?! From a conservative position, isn’t this the vocation of the premier university, to be magaling? This stops short of the claim of being the best – pinakamagaling or pinakamahusay. Ngunit para saan?
***
There is simply injustice in spending much money on centennial celebrations and disposing a small amount on the welfare of its employees. All the bombast will fade and sooner teachers and non-academic personnel will literally fade out as dispensable workforce once the celebration turns into a reflection on our difficult conditions.
***
Watched last week the i witness feature on three freshmen. How are their lives, what do they feel upon passing the upcat, their parents’ hopes and dreams, their friends and classmates’ reactions, and owing to the tv program’s mediation of their lives and the Filipino people’s, society’s take on their being iskolar ng bayan. The lesson inserted was “hindi hadlang ang kahirapan sa may talino at tiyaga.” We know that poverty is indeed an obstacle, but it is the perseverance to surmount difficulties on the part of the many that make them successful. But this moral lesson was fantastically rendered by the coverage on the young people’s first few days: on how chaotic life in manila is; the competition on the hearts and minds of freshies being fought by the left (activists) and the right (the rayadillo, rotc/nstp/cwts); how many students were shocked at the freshmen orientation program protest rally knocked together despite repressive measures (so as not to frighten the kids and their parents, so as to have a well-mannered welcome exercise, so as not to intimidate the officials…so as to present a ‘dynamically’ safe and wonderful university of the philippines!); on how one was surprised that there are truly students who own their cars; on how one can encounter a mad man by the name of Zorro who thus exemplifies how in UP the right to express and speak even when you are insane is held sacred (scared!); on how one can strike a balance in the preparation for the nation’s leadership; on how rich and poor students alike are brought together by intellectuality (that of course denigrates the poor because only the freedom from economic necessity enables one to be a scholar indeed); on how one freshie, coming from Palo, Leyte where Douglas McArthur landed to save the colony, proclaimed “I shall return!” These are sights and sounds beautifully presented by the special features show making a composite impression of the university as, without a doubt, offering the best experiences for its students. Surely, millions of our countrymen’s desire to have one of their sons or daughters or kin be a UP student was propelled to the greatest heights this centennial year of our lord u.p. officials, malacañang and the neoliberal order.
1:16 amsunday, 6 july 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Barack!
Wednesday night saw me exhilarated upon learning from CNN that Barack Obama has just claimed victory. Now the presumptive Democratic nominee is campaigning to capture the White House from the Bush regime, arguably the most unpopular US president. I know that Barack and Hillary are both traditional establishment candidates in the sense that they represent the status quo in American politics, the same economic elites who had been dominating the superpower's political order for a long time. Though being racial and sexual subalterns these two show to us the sharp battles where the achievements of the civil rights and feminist campaigns of the past decade have entered the mainstream and are seized by the doxa. Remember how the fiery rhetoric and spiritual practices of the militant black church has been rebuked by Obama in his severance of ties with Rev. Wright and church exit, auguring an appeasement of the conservative disposition of a safe and state-supportive Christianity. Unfortunately for the rest of the world and the non-Christians as well as Americans who think differently, the Christian Right is determined more than ever to impose its self-righteous perception. Note: they are linked with big business, the oil corporations, are anti-Arabs and anti-Islamic, hideous of their anti-Semitic bent and are militantly opposed to democratic, patriotic and progressive interests.
Yet there is this powerful sense that Obama has tapped the veins of discontent with the way things have been going for so long in US and global politics that offers him as the solution, even a messiah. His rhetoric and charisma enjoin many to partake of his cause. Let us forcefully challenge that he bring into fruition his progressive calls such as the end of foreign occupation. Warning: he has just issued his support for Jewish security in a program of a most influential pro-Israel lobby group. Hope and dream then, however limited the possibility of positive change there is come November.
Image from www.barackobama.com/photos/
3:27 am
Friday, 6 june 2008
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